CAP V- reverse psychology

What about us, we had one full night together, we talked a lot, worked a lot at times, but we never had a fight... we didn't even danced together, even if I wanted.
We had separate sweet moments encrypted in time, or just in my mind and in my pictures.
We will always be like this? stuck in a complicated situation, always with the possibility of love at our reach, to afraid to just be?!

Maybe we didn't tried, maybe that is the problem! I am so mext up that I can't think at something else, I am just walking.
And were the hell are you?!!! You just left, I have no idea where.
I stop and stare at the paving, chasing the small cracks and discontinuities. I sit on a bench for a moment, but just can't stay still. I have to walk and it's kind of cold to sit down, anyway.

You took pieces of me with you, wandering into the world searching the ideal perfect she that will never be, or exist.. and when you realize you will come home with all my broken pices... sadness, lost filed with you, you!!! ... i really miss You!!!...have to find you, find a piece of you in this town that reminds me of everything!

Stairs, it's the next floor, wright?! The door opens, good I was afraid it might be closed.
I am here! The view it's awesome, you can see all the city lights in the darkness.
I am here on top of the world! Alone!
Were are you, Adam? When will I see you again?

I love this roof garden that you made for this building. It's like a part of you that you left here for me and for everyone. I can see your hands working in that earth, planting the bushes or lilies. I can see you there and in every corner working, directing, measuring.
You change it like twice already. You will never stop to correct and improve things.
"- If the needs change, you have to come with new solutions, wright?!" you said one time when we were in this very spot, near the roof entrance...

Waiting to see the show, I come up to see your garden, one floor upper from the lobby.
You said it has no point because it's November, it's cold, no plants and maybe it's not even opened.
"- It's too dark you can't see anything now!"

I was up on the roof just seating, and looking at the city, thinking of us, or at nothing at all.
This top view around it's just amazing!
You came up and you talked with someone, our eyes met for a wile and you came to me. We walked a little just in silence, but your phone ringed, you talked with her. I just left your side not to hear the conversation, and tried some pictures in the night.
You know, you look after me when I am too far away from you, like protecting your little girl that is to far away from home.

"-She is working, she is coming latter."
Then I will have you in this day all for me! it really was our last day together, before all the scandal, before you left.
I remember I showed you the pictures and said about the view, that it is precious and unique.

You were so cute, explaining and pointing out the things you want to correct and retouch.
I love your creativity, your eyes were sparkling in the night, your hands were dazzling and your voice firm but sweet, was caressing me. Had such an insane desire to just kiss you, right then, in that very moment. You were explaining, I could have kissed you, or I think I could have.
We have to enter, the play must start. You asked me if I have a gum, and keep talking.

- I do, just have to find it, somewhere in my purse!
Thinking what kind of a fruit blueberry is.
- It is girly, has forest fruits flavor.
I tried to opened it for you, but I was shaking and in the struggle with the poor package, our hands touched. I just give you the pack, because that drive towards you came again, and my hart was running like crazy. This feelings rushed back to me when I thought there is no turning back.
Just closed my eyes for a second trying to calm down, and all that stressed filling of doing something inappropriate just vanished.
It's already to late! Our hands touched like in a dance, and all the people and noise around us disappeared.

After that moment, the one men show play was good. I knew that it will end when he will finally close all the buttons of his shirt. It was quite an interesting act.
I watched you during the play to see your reaction, It was a mixture of feelings, you were thinking mostly, maybe remembering, a bit excited, surprised and amused, but anxious.
After the play ended I left. We discussed theatrical details going down the stairs. You come out with me, to help me get a taxi, because it was my first time in this part of town. We tried a friendly goodbye kiss, but our lips just touched accidentally. I was blushing for sure. Smiling I said I am sorry, and waved a goodbye walking backwards.
You said it's alright, with a simple sweet tone. We talk.
I have text you a message from the taxi in my way home.

Am I crazy for loving you? does it even matter!
Either this, what we feel, it's not love, it's just lust, infatuation or a jealousy mix with pride, either you are not ready for love, but you should always try, it is never a prefect moment.
So, for the third time today "Marilyn! What _ do you want ?" 

In this moment just to get the hell out of this parking lot, I am just pushing the acceleration, and my car is just playing along. just drive home.
What do I want... I want to look at you and you will say in my face:
- This, whatever it is "Is over".
You will still kiss me, because you will feel like you can't stay away and you have no idea what are you saying! You can say whatever you want, you can lie, your words will never match in intensity your eyes looking into mine.
And maybe I will say:

"- It is the end or the beginning, whatever you choose now it will be!"

We are in the right time or there is no right time, now is the moment, now we can let us just be whatever we could be, no expectations... just give it a try!
I was over thinking this instead of just let it be, so what ever happens happens... I just have to see you, find you and I'll feel that I am wright, I will see it in your eyes, and feel it in your touch.
I am here, baby! I see your dark eyes when I close mine, see your sweet smile, your hands caressing mine like in a dance, you ...

You have that look of love in your eyes when you look at me, and I just can't look away.
I don't believe a word you say, your words have no meaning when you look at me! it's just like reverse psychology.